Dowry & Middle Class Families || Go Let's Live

Hey Buddies,

Apudepudooo Eloping gurinchi na views metho share cheskunanu, gurthunda ?? chadivara?? chadavakapothe ipudu chadavandi, here is the  link "My Take on Eloping". E post lo dowry gurinchi chepali anukuntuna.

"Na koduku gurinchi asalu digulu ledu vadu ela ayna brathikesthadu, ma digulantha kuthuru guriche, danikoka manchi sambandam chusi chesthe makuna badhyathalu aypothayi". Enti e dialog ekado vinatlu unda?? inkekada andi mana chuttupakale chala mandi ammayi unna thalithandrulu antune untaru. Ala antuna valalo sagam mandiki "manchi sambandam ante katnam thakkuva thesukune sambandam" ane.

Dowry anadi ammayi unna prathi middle class family ki unde athi pedha tension. Entha manchi sambandam ayna sare dowry ekkuva ayyi venakadugu vesina match kanesam okati ayna prathi middle class family lo untundi. Ammayi earn chesthuna kuda dowry thesukuni ravali ledu ante aa match ye akarledu anukuntaru. Ma abbayi ki anthaku mundu okalu 5 lakhs istha annaru merentha varaku ivagalaru ani direct ga adigestharu. Inka pachiga cheppalante santhalo beram pettinatlu pedatharu kodukuni. 

Kontha mandi aythe ma abbayi Government Job so meru koncham ekkuvaga muttacheppali antaru. As if athanu kashtapadi chadivi, exams and interview clear chesi job thechukundi ekkuva dowry thesukodanike aynatlu. Ofcourse alanti valu kuda unnaru anukondi, govt job osthe kotlalo katnam thesukovachu anukune valu.

"Katnam adigina vadu gaadida" "Katnam adigina ichina neram" lanti quotes FB pages lo likes kosam, TV lo screen space kosam thappa adi chusi maaripoyi katnam ana concept lekunda pelli ayentha chance ledu. Ayna mana pichi kosam avi chupisthune untam atleast okarana maarakapothara ani.

Konni years back varaku kuda love marriage lo katnam ana concept undedi kadu, ipudu andulo kuda katnam enter aypoyindi. Preminchukuna valu nana thantalu padi parents ni oppichi, two sides parents ki meeting arrange chestharu. Akada indirectga ma abbayi mem cheppina match cheskuni unte intha katnam ochundedi kani em chestham love chesadu kada inka thappaka oppukovalsi osthundi ani oka mata visirestharu. E mata vina aadapilla thandri kuthuri meda prema tho elano na kuthuriki nenu chesthe istha kada, thanu preminchina vaditho happy ga unte chalu ani katnam ichestharu.

Kotha mandi katnam afford cheyagalaru, kontha mandi afford cheyaleru. Afford cheyalekapoyina manchi match osthe thana kuthuru pelli cheskuni atha vala intlo happy ga untundi ani thanu kashtapadi dachukuna prathi rupai karchu pettesaru. Inka money saripokapothe thana sthomathaki minchi appu cheso, leka kodho goppo land unte dani ammesi pelli chesi pampestharu. Kuthuru ki manchi sambandam chesam ana happiness lo migilina jeevitham lo sagam part chesina appulu therchadam lo ne gadichipothundi aa pichi thallithandrulaki. Poni intha chesi vala kuthuru atha varintlo happy ga unda ante.. Emo adi cheppadam kastame. Konni cases lo aythe ichina katnam thechina bangaram motham inlaws ye unchukuntaru as if manaki avi safe ga pettukodam ranatlu.

Katnam, aadapaduchu katnam, lanchanalu, pelli karchulu, gift perlu edaithe enti aadapilla thallithandrulaki dabbulu odilinchadaniki. Poni pelli tho idi aaguthunda ante abee ala em kadu.. Pelli ayaka kuda e formality cheyali aa formality cheyali ani adapillala thalli thandrulani ibandi peduthune untaru.

Nenu recentga chusina oka three incidents metho share cheskovali anukuntunanu.!

Na friend ki match set ayindi abbayi govt job, katnam em akarledu kani pelli chala grand ga cheyali ani chepparu. Abbayi relatives lo 30+ families ki pattu cheeralu pattu panchalu pettali. Food lo veg and non-veg rendu undali ani oka pedha list cheppi yevariki catering ivalo kuda vale chepparu. Valu ammayiki thaali, haaram motham kalipi 10 tulas pedatharanta. Pelliki ochina andariki return gifts ivali ani em gifts ivalo kuda chepparu oka pedha function hall lo pelli chepincharu. Aa pelli motham cheyadaniki uncle ki ayna karchu aksharala 30 lakshalu. Andulo 20 lakhs na friend vala anna appu & loan thesukuni chesinave. E pelli  valaki thalaku minchina bhaaram kani kuthuru bagutundi ana korika tho oka thandri, chelli ki pelli aythe chalu anukuni oka anna risk thesukuni chesaru.

Na friend chelli ki pelli fix ayindi. Na friend valaki ichina dani kana kuda vala chelli ki 2 Lakhs ekkuva katnam and bike isthunaru ani na friend vala husbandki thelisi godava chesadu. Na friend ki pelli ayyi 8 years ayindi apatlone 5lakhs katnam icharu, 5Lakhs ante chinna amount kadu kada and na friend family kuda antha settled kadu aa time lo. Thakkuva katnam abbayi manchi vadu ani chesaru. Na friend vala chelli US velli akada part time job chesthu  money save chesthu tharvatha oka 2 years akade job chesthu vala family ki burden avakudadani thana pelli ki thane save cheskundi, adantha explain chesina na friend husband ki ardam kaledu. Enduku godavani penchadam ani uncle aa extra 3.5 Lakhs (2 Lakhs money + Bike cost) kalipi ichesaru. Iddaru aadapillalu unna thallithandrulaki idi double damaka emo.  

Na friend oka ammayiki father leru. Uncle chanipoyinapudu ochina money tho valaki unna land lo oka chinna home kattukunaru. Na friend ki enni matches ochina katnam dagara aagipoyedi. Chivariki oka match ochindi, abbayi manchodu, Govt job valaki katnam odhu kani illu na friend ki rasi ivali anadi pelli koduku thalli pettina condition. Abbayi manchi vadu kabati ala odhu, aunty unantha varaku aunty ke chenduthundi aame thadanantharam na friend ki ochela rayinchandi ani cheppi athani family ni convince chesadu. Koti mandilo oka punyathmudu. Untaru ilanti manchi valu kuda untaru!!

Entha katnam ichina vere valatho compare chesi valu antha katnam thecharu nu maku em ichav em thechav ani adige valu unantha kalam e samajam maradu. Katnam anadi status symbol aypoyindi. Okapudu aadapilla ki twaraga pelli chesevaru, so valaki ye achata muchata therchaledu ani, parents voluntary ga valaki unna danlo koncham ayna aadapillaki chendali ani oka manchi udesam tho sthredhanam iche varu. Ranu ranu adi dowry ga maari, harrassments varaku velli chavulu varaku vellindi. Ipudu ipude ammayi laki valaki unna right thelisi dowry harrassment ni report chesthunaru. 

Katnam ivadam thesukodam anadi open secret. Dani ipatiki ipudu manam elano change cheyalem, mana venaka generation mind set ni elano marchalem atleast manam ayna maradam. "Na koduku ki nenu katnam adaganu, na kuthuru ki nenu katnam ivanu" ani pledge cheskondi. Manam maarithe mana raboye tharalu kuda marathayi.

E kalam lo ammayi ki matches osthunte valaki ochina matches list lo first "Katnam thakkuva" ana filter apply chesi, apudu unna vatilo abbayi manchoda kada, job em chesthunadu, family elantidi ani chusthunaru. Ala kakunda katnam ana concept thesesi abbayi and thana family gurinchi alochinchi decide cheskuni happy ga pelli karchulu half half share cheskuni cheskovachu kada. Am I dreaming too  much ?

Meru me kodukuni penchadaniki entha kashtapadaro antha kana vanda retlu ekkuvaga adapillani penchadaniki vala thalithandrulu kasthapadatharu. Rabandulu unna soceity lo oka adapillani safe ga penchi, chaduv cheppinchi, manchi budhi nerpinchi valaki oka manchi life ivali ani niranthatram kashtapaduthuna thallithandrulaki katnam ana concept tho burden penchodu. Valu voluntary ga valaki una dantlo vala kuthuriki emana isthe adi thesukondi thapa vala dagara money lev ani thelisina, valu appula palu avthunaru ani thelisina valani pressurize cheyodu.

Love marriages vala kontha varaku katnam ana burden thaggina mata nijame. Kontha mandi manchiga katnam lekunda pelli cheskuni wife ni happyga chusukuntuna valu kuda unnaru. Alanti mahanubhavulandariki vandanalu!! Me valane maku manushula meda koddo goppo nammakam inka untundi.

Asalu e katnam gurinchi cheppukuntu pothe Mahabharatham kana kuda pedha bharatham avthundi. Kanyasulkam, Sathi sahagamanam ela aythe kaalantharalo kalisipoyayo alane manalni patti peedisthuna katnam ana pisachi kuda vadilipovali ani korukutunanu.

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Signing off for now.!

Priyanka ♥