My take on Eloping

The below article might not relate to everyone, I am expressing my views about Eloping. I will be happy if at least a few got benefited from this !!!

Recently I have been getting many messages from girls stating that, they wanna elope to prove their parents that their love is true. Most of them say that, their parents will accept them once they bore a kid after eloping, but if they don't elope now they will lose their love. I noticed that most of the girls are 21 to 24 years old who are neither financially independent nor have clarity regarding life. I strongly believe that this is mostly because of Cinematic influence. At this age the concept of eloping may thrill people, they might even think that they are sacrificing their parents for their love, but Trust Me girls, when you grow up and attain maturity, you will understand how foolishly you thought and behaved.

Eloping is NOT proving your love towards a guy or girl. It is purely cheating and betraying your parents. If your love is true or if you have genuine feelings about your boyfriend, you will NOT elope, instead, you will try to convince your parents.. The feeling of love which you have got on opposite gender is never greater than the love which your parents have towards you. Your parents started loving you even before they saw you. Your parents loved you the way you are, with all your flaws. Few parents do not express their love, that doesn't mean love doesn't exist. If you could cheat on 20+ years of your parents' love, does that mean you are in love with some stranger whom you have known for just few years.? I think you are just being selfish, isn't it?

I have a question to ask .. Do you think that you know the meaning of love you are in, if you can't understand the love of your parents and got ready for eloping?

These days people think that love is just exchanging messages, calls, greeting cards and so on....They often forget that love means responsibility. It is a responsibility towards your parents, your siblings, their feelings, it is a responsibility towards the person you love and his family. Love is not confined to your boyfriend or girlfriend., it has both of your parents and families too.

People do not understand the pain they are giving to their parents and the pain they are taking by eloping. Eloping is easy but after circumstances are hard to handle. Your parents might or might not come back to you. After marriage, you require support from your parents to lead a happy life. Most of the times, by eloping, not only you, even your kids will miss a good family and relations.

If you elope, not a single day goes by without thinking about parents. Ask the following questions to the couple who eloped,

* how it feels to stay all alone?

* how it feels while waiting to get a call from parents?

* how it feels to get awkward looks from parents when they encounter each other?

* How it feels being rejected or disowned by entire family?

* how it feels if someone comments on their marriage?

You just can't imagine how painful it will be..

Image Source: Google Images

 On the other side, parents will also face lots of unjust from society and they die emotionally. They face many ill words from relatives which literally creates lots of distance between you and your parents than the distance which you have created. Most of us being South Indians, have Orthodox or traditional families who relate marriage of a girl to their family reputation.  The tag or badge of "so and so persons' daughter eloped" doesn't leave parents even though they accepted your marriage. Sometimes this tag becomes their brand name too, which causes lots of stress and trauma both to you and your parents.

Even in this 21st century, a girl is not allowed to choose the guy she wants to marry.. Honor killing (parents/family either killing love birds or killing self) is still happening in our society. But still, the wind is slowly changing its direction. These days many families are accepting love marriage. All it requires is your patience to change your parents' way of thinking.

Parents lived under a roof of "What society thinks" till these 40+ years of their life, so it requires lots and lots of patience to change them. It requires lots of love, stubbornness, logic and little drama to change the mindset of parents. All parents wish for is your happiness, but they often forget that the person you love can give you more happiness than the one they choose for you. Sometimes they even get scared of sending you to a completely different family with a different background. So, try to convince your parents and make them accept your love.

Nowadays, parents reject the guy maybe because of his family reputation or boys' character. But people in love usually get blindfolded by "Parents will never accept my love" tag. Come out of it and think from the parents' point of view and get the facts checked before taking any step.

Eloping is an easy task, by God's grace if your guy treats you well and if your parents come back to you, then you will have a happy life.. Think on the other side too.. What if your guy turns out to be an irresponsible one and torture you daily, to whom will you go? You can't face your parents, but poor parents, if they got to know that you are hurt and if you go back to them they will accept you. Instead, if you convince them and if they accept your love, then they will back you up in any kind of problem in your marriage life. You can avoid lots of mess in your life.. Parents always think of your happiness but sometimes they think of society too, for giving you a respectable status in society.

So try to convince your parents it may take days, weeks, months or even years.. Your wait is totally worth if they agree, this makes your life a fairy tale. If they do not agree then tell them that you are not gonna marry anyone else, stick to that decision and stay single forever. Sometimes staying single is far better than betraying.

Sometimes you might even fail and end up getting married to someone else.. Accept the fact that you will get married to the one who is in your fate not to the one who is in your heart or mind. If you marry someone else do not try to cheat him or avoid him or spoil his life. Accept him as he is, accept your fate and try to lead a happy life. God's plan is greater than yours' and you can't change it.

Few girls say that they will commit suicide if their parents reject their love. My response to them is "your guy will get a girl who loves him more than you did, what about your parents? Will they get a princess like you again? Will they be able to survive happily after you are gone? It is just like you making a mistake and giving punishment to innocent (parents). You can die and once for all get not affected by after situations but your parents have to live all their life with guilt and have to face many unanswerable questions from the society which will hurt them to the core. Sometimes parents commit suicide too. Love shouldn't kill people". Think of it !!!

Love doesn't mean you should definitely get married to the person whom you love. It does also mean respecting your parents love too. You need not elope to prove to the world that your love is True. If you wanna prove your love, it needs to be done by convincing your parents and getting acceptance for your love. Do not fall in the trap if someone advises you to elope to prove your love. Eloping just shows how selfish and coward you are!!! No one will help you in your hard time except your family so do not hurt them. A person loves you, because of the way you are, and you are what your parents made you. Without your parents' efforts, you are just a "zero".

Of course !!! I understand this is a persons' personal choice, but I wanna convey this "Before taking any step, think million times about the consequences of your actions. It will change your entire life, so you shouldn't regret later." Life or happiness is not guaranteed either with your loved one or with the one your parents choose for you, but if you have parents support you can manage and overcome your problems.

There is no choice between parents and lover, both can be attained if you are willing to make efforts, take up troubles and challenges.

Hoping for a day when parents accept the genuine love of their children and the day when youth genuinely respect parents opinion. I know these both are two extremes, but a little hope doesn't harm anyone :)

Feel free to share your opinion on the Elopement in the comments section below.

Love♥

Priyanka.