An Untold Story of a Woman || Go Let's Live

Hello Girls,

Hope everyone is doing good. Thanks for all the positive responses you guys gave to our previous blogpost Oka Amma Kadha. 

Here is a story of a woman who has healed the scars of sexual abuse..

________ In Her Words >>

Nenu oka middle class, village background nundi ochina normal ammayini. Maku manchi studies undali ani village nundi dagaralo unna town ki maripovalsi ochindi, kani prathi festival ki ma urulo unna ma athaya vala intiki velpoyevalam. Nenu koncham shy and introvertga undedani. Naku oka annaya unnadu ma parents ki mem thappa vere lokam ledu, chala santhoshamga unde valam. Na degree first yearlo oka festival holidayski ma uru vellamu. Apudu ma athaya vala abbayi, thanaki nenante istam ani nannu pelli cheskunta ani annadu, naku istam ledu nenu cheskonu ani cheppesa endukante naku chinapati nundi thanante bhayam, uru lo andaritho godavalu paduthu moratuga unde vadu. Nenu thanatho kanesam matlade dani kuda kadu anduke istam ledu ani cheppesa. Holidays aypoyaka maa uru ochesam, nenu e vishayam marchipoyanu kani oka roju nenu college nundi intiki ochedapudu thanu nannu follow avthunadu ani thelisindi, bhayamtho ma nana gariki thanu chesindantha cheppesa. 

Ma nana garu ma athaya valani pilipinchi jarigina vishayam chepparu. Apudu ma mavaya nannu okate question adigaru, "ma abbayini pelli cheskuntava?" ani. Naku istam ledu ani cheppanu. Inka ikadatho ammu venta padodu ani vala koduku ki gattiga chepparu. Ma bavaki kopam ochi pedha godava chesi ela ayna nanne pelli cheskunta ani cheppi vellipoyadu. Thanu emana chesthe ma athaya valaki maku unna manchi relation pothundi ani degree ayna ventane manchi sambandam chusi Pelli chesesthe apudu athanu ilanti pichi veshalu veyadu ani ma intlo decide ayyaru.

E godava ayaka konni months ki polam pani undadam tho memu ma uru vellamu. Evaru leni time lo ma athaya vala koduku ochi nannu baga kotti nannu bhalavantham chesadu, nenu entha thappinchukodaniki prayathninchina kuda thana bhalam mundu nenu thattukolekapoyanu. Aa roju jarigindi nenu na jeevithamlo marchipolenu. Oka aadapillaga nenu aa paristhithilo entha narakam chusuntano ardam cheskondi. Epatiko ma pakinti valu ochi jaruguthundi chusi thanani kotti intlo kattesi nannu hospital lo join chesaru. Jarigindi thelusukuna ma mavaya ma nana garu kalisi thanani kotti intlo nundi gentesaru.  Naku jarigindi ma uru lo andariki thelisipoyindi, hospital ki kondaru jaali chupisthe kondaru thappuga matlade varu. Kontha mandi aythe thanake ichi pelli cheyamane varu.  Avi thattukoleka nannu ma town ki thechasaru, athaya valu kuda urulo unnavani ammesi complete ga ma dagara ki ochesaru. Idi jarigina dagara nundi nenu intlo nundi bayata ravadam manesanu. Aa roju thanu nannu ala cheyakunda champesina bagundedi ani chala sarlu anukuna. Nannu chusi ma intlo valu chala badha pade varu. 1 year paine nalo nenu narakam chusa chanipovali ani nannu nenu chala badhapettukuna kani ma amma athaya epudu na pakane untu nannu kaapadukuntu ocharu. Na friend rukmini nenu matladakapoyina prathi roju na dagara kurchuni naku dairyam chepthu undedi. Slow ga naku ma amma nana badha ardam avthu ochindi nannu nenu marchukovali ani try chesanu, e lopu ma nana garu nakoka manchi sambandam ochindi valu chuskodaniki osthunaru ani chepparu. Naku pelli istam ledu ani cheppina kuda ma valu vinaledu.

Aa abbayi valu nannu chudaniki ocharu. Andari munde naku pelli ante istam ledu ani cheppesa. Apudu aa pelli koduku vala amma garu na dagara ochi maku antha thelusu amma nu maku nachavu neku istam aythene pelli chesko ledante odhu ani chepparu. Vallu vellaka chala manchi match valaki anni thelusu ani ma parents nannu convince chesaru. Ela ayindo kuda theliyadu na pelli aypoyindi. First night roju bhayamga nenu aa room lo vellanu, nenu velle sariki ma vaaru ma room lo unna decoration motham theesthu kanapadaru chala bhayamtho em matladakunda alane ninchuni unna. Aayana na dagara ochi manam okarni okaram ardam cheskunake husband and wifela undam ani chepparu. Na life lo jarigina incident nalo bhayam ni alane unchesindi. Oka theliyani person tho room lo undalante bhayam vesindi aa rathri motham nannemana chestharemo ana bhayam tho nidrapokunda alane undipoya. Chala rathrulu nenu nidra pokunda e bhayamthone gadipanu, adi gamaninchina ma vaaru, ne istam lekunda kanesam ninnu pattukonu nu prasanthamga paduko kavalante nenu bayata padukunta annaru. Naku oka dane undalana bhayam inka anduke oke room lo iddaru unknown persons la unde vaalam. Nannu ma athaya garu valu premaga chusukuntuna kuda chala bhayapaduthu undedani. Ma vaaru natho emana mataldaniki try chesina nenu lechi ma athaya gari dagara velpothu unde dani. Oka roju ma vaaru aagipoyina chaduvuni malli modalu pettali ani oka universitylo distance education ki application thechi icharu. Nenu degree first year exams kuda rayaledu e incident vala naku college ki velle dairyam kuda ledu. Kani chaduvu untene lokam theeru ardam avthundi ani ma Athaya Garu Mavaya Garu chesina pressure tho nenu oppukovalsi ochindi. Books thechukodam dagara nundi exams rapinchadaniki city ki thesukelladam varaku prathi danilo na bartha naku thoduga unnaru. Aayana ento naku slowga ardam avthu ochindi.

Na birthdayki ma vaaru na meda penchukuna premani chepparu. Aayana ma annaya officelone work chestharanta oka sari office pani meda ma intiki ochinapudu nannu chusi istapadaru anta. Nakosam ma annayatho close ayyi ma intiki oche vaaranta kani nenu aayani epudu patinchukoledu. Naku jarigina incident dani vala ma family entha struggle avthundo motham ma annaya cheppadanta. Ma annaya cheppina konni days ki ma vaaru vala intlo valaki cheppi valani oppinchi nannu pelli cheskunta ani ma annayani ma nana garini adigaranta. Modatlo ma valu oppukokapoyina aayana gurinchi vala family gurinchi kanukunaka oppukunaru anta. Naku aayana prathi chinna vishayam cheppi thanani bharthaga accept chesthe kunkuma thesukomani kunkuma bharina chupincharu. Appatiki nenu aayani na pellini accept cheyalekapoyanu ayanaki samaadaanam em cheppakunda akada nundi velipoya. Ma annayani adigithe maa vaaru cheppindi antha nijam ani thanentha manchi varo cheppadu. Thanu oka manchi person ani ardam ayna nenu aayani accept cheyalekapoyanu

Pelli ayyi one year avthundi vishesham em leda ani andaru adagadam start chesaru. Valaki em chepalo thelisedi kadu. Nannu pelli cheskodaniki ala chesina ma athaya vala abbayi ekada pelli ayyindi avakasam theesukune chance undi and na meda hakku undi ayna kuda naku istam ledu ani kanesam nannu pattukokunda unna na bartha ekada ani naku anipisthu undedi. Na bhartha behaviour vala gradualga nenu kuda maaranu. Na bharthani completega accept cheyadaniki naku dagara dagara rendellu patindi nenu chala mondiga  undedani kani kaniana natho chala orpuga unnaru. Aayana vale naku prema ante ento thelisindi. Naku pelli ayyi ipatiki 12 and half years ayindi maku iddaru pillalu. Bayata valu enni matalu anna ma family lo na gurinchi thelisina valu evaru naku jarigina vishayam gurinchi epudu prasthavinchaledu. Naku na bharthaki enni godavalu ayna kuda aayana aa vishayam gurinchi oka sari kuda matladaledu. Na life chala happy ga undi. 

Ipudu idi rasthunte nakoti anipisthundi. Na life lo naku god chala pedha kashtam ichadu kani finalga nenu happy ga unnanu. Kani nannu ala chesina ma athaya vala koduku ekada unnado ela unnado ma evariki theliyadu kani parents ki dooram ayna vadu happy unduntada? kachithamga undi undadu edo oka point lo guilty ga feel ayyuntadu kada. Vadu nannu badha petadu vadiki parents ni dooram chesi god thanaki punishment icharu. Okapudu nenu narakam chusanu kani ipudu happyga unnanu. Manam chesina manchi ayna chedu ayna manaki thirigi osthundante idenemo.

E madhya chala mandhi em kashtam ochina chanipovali anipisthundi antunaru adi correct kadu. Naku na life okate nerpindi, lifelo elanti badha face chesina adi temporary ne. Oka kashtam ochindi ani chanipovadaniki try cheyakudadu. Nenu chavali ani try chesinapudu nakemana ayyunte ipudu naku intha manchi ardam cheskune family dorikundedi kadu ma amma nana ni kuda jeevithantham badha petti undedani. Okapudu deni gurinchi aythe alochisthu kanesam intlo nundi kuda bayata rakunda evaritho matladakunda, thinakunda nidrapokunda leni poni rogaalu thechukunano ipudu ade incident gurinchi alochinche time kuda ledu antha busy ga unnanu na family tho. E blog gurinchi thelisaka e vishayam meku cheppali anipinchindi ventane ma vaarini adiganu cheppana ani, marokariki upayoga paduthundi anukunte cheppu kani perlu ranivodu annaru. Marokaru aythe kanesam cheppamane varu kuda kademo, kani na bhartha naku chala support istharu ye vishayamlo ayna. Ipatiki na manasulo chala bhayalu unnayi ontariga undalana evaru lekunda bayata velalana, vere vala intiki velalana ila chala bhayalu unnayi, na bhartha na family na prathi steplo naku thodu unnaru. idi rasthunantha sepu na bhartha na pakane kurchuni nannu console chesthu unnaru adi premante. Premaki ela ayna dakkinchukovali ana pantham ki chala difference untundi adi notice chesi life lo proceed avandi. Evarana propose chesthe okatiki vanda sarlu alochinchi apude proceed avandi, mimalni meru ga accept chese valu inka unnaru. Na jeevithamlo jariginavi chadivi okariki ayna life meda hopes perigithe nenu na ma vaaru chala happyga feel avthamu. 

***Names changes to protect privacy.

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So guys this is the story of a woman who choose to live happily despite of all the trauma she underwent. thanatho matladinapudu aa timelo vala intlo valaki ela react avalo kuda theliyaka athani thanni tharimesaru ani chepparu. Kani ipudu sexual abuse ni report chesthe em avthundo, or andariki thelisipothundemo ana bhayam tho or aa rapist em chestharo anna bhayamthono chala mandi police complaint cheyakunda silent aypothunaru. Report chesina cheyakapoyina aa stress tho fight chesthu life ni marchukodaniki chusthuna andariki ma hatsoff hope you get a happy life soon. Chala mandi ade depressionlo untaru, atleast me pain ni me close buddies tho share cheskondi, koncham ayna relief osthundi. E world lo mimalni hurt chesina vale kadu, mimalni support chesi me life ni happyga maarchagalige persons kuda unnaru, valu husband, boy friend or friend or cousin or inkevarana ayundochu. Hope you find one such person soon. Sexual abuse gurinchi matladaniki chala guts kavali, thana bhayam ni pakana petti marokariki help aythe chalu ani munduki ochina Ammu Garu inka thana husband ni chusthunte naku chala garvamga undi. I just wanna say this...

You are not just your body,

You are not just the flesh and blood. 

You are much more than these. 

Rape doesn't change your purity. 

Your purity lies in your soul, in the way you think 

and the way you treat your fellow human beings.

Share your thoughts in the comments section.  Your feedback matters us a lot..

If you wish to contribute your story to create awareness or inspire others, feel free to contact me directly from here or email me: goletslive@gmail.com or get in touch with me at various social media links shared on the blog. 

Signing off for now.

Priyanka.